...what in the F%$#!
I never imagined I’d find myself back in the dating game at this stage of life. You grow up following the roadmap: Find a good woman — check. Build a family — check. Protect that family — check. Raise the kids as best you can — check, even when you don’t always see eye to eye with the spouse. Stay faithful — double check. Grow old together with mutual respect and shared purpose — well… that didn’t happen.
Somewhere along the way, the train left the tracks — and it wasn’t me pulling the lever. I certainly didn’t picture divorce at 60, but here I am, adjusting, reflecting, and moving forward.
As pictured below, I’ve given a handful of dating apps a shot, and I have to admit… I'M NOT IMPRESSED! Everything feels forced and overly scripted, like everyone is bracing for the worst possible outcome before a single word is ever exchanged. It’s a strange world where a simple, genuine compliment — the kind you’d offer in person, like “You have a beautiful smile; it caught my eye from across the room” — gets met with a wall of disclaimers, such as: “I’m not here for games (I didn't think you were). If you voted for Trump, don’t bother (really, you now know everything about me based on who I "May Have" voted for). I love dogs; that’s non-negotiable (I mean, they're okay). I’m independent and don’t need anyone (and yet you're on a dating site).”
That’s the kind of energy you run into and honestly, it’s discouraging, because connection shouldn’t feel like walking through a minefield. But here I am, figuring it out one step at a time — even if the landscape looks nothing like the one I left decades ago, the personable one- you know, where if she really wasn’t into you, she just gave you the wrong phone number. Ah, those were the days…
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Marriage, Relationships, Dating, Hookups...
COME ON
!
the Pros & Cons of Dating Sites
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The mechanics of shuffling thought the picks
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PRO: You swipe left or click an (X) to Skip and swipe right or click the (Heart) to Like (simple enough to view current and next picks)
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CON: Most sites are pyy to play, while they will allow you to swipe and look at the goods, you cannot go backwards and usually cannot interact with comments without showinig your credit card
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Preview and bio photos
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PRO: 80% of the photos are mid to high quality, based on the number of photos allowed you can usually get a good idea of looks
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CON: The choice of photos ultimately depends on what each person considers appropriate. However, in my opinion, some selections completely miss the mark—such as using only pictures of pets, Ai-generated avatars, food shots, or memes instead of actual personal photos.
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You can have your photo verifed confirming that the person I am looking at is actually you
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PRO: Most sites allow you to have your photo verifed confirming that the person I am looking at is, in fact, actually you
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CON: It is not the best method of verifacation but until you actually video call or meet you'll never be 100% sure. Best suggestion is to have the person send you a pic with a thumbs up or peace sign as you are talking to them, to fast of a request for them to send a fake- if they don't you have your answer
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You can connect outside accounts
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PRO: Some of the apps will allow you to connect outside accounts, i.e. Instagram, which gives a better overall picture of who you are conversing with
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CON: Most do not allow you to do this, so your source of information is only what is stated in that specific app
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It shows Exact matches based on the preferences you chose setting up the app
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PRO: Exact matches are just that, an algorithm that matches your specified profile words with their profile words,
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CON: To general, just because I like cooking and she likes cooking that does not automatically make us an "Exact or Perfect Match"
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It shows Things in Common based on your choices within the app
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PRO: Commonalities are a great jumping off point for beginning and ongoing conversations
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CON: To general most of the time based only on the options that the given site will allow you to choose from
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There is a "Liked You" section and a "Matches" section
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PRO: Both these sections, or variations of them depending on the site/app, allow a 1st contact driveby scenerio
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CON: While they are good touchpoints, it has been my experience that while that person may have initiated a "Like" getting a response back when you trigger a reply is usually a 70/30 that it won't happen
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There is a "Dating assistant (Ai) that you can utilize to help in your search
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PRO: Like any Ai the operation only takes into account parameters that it can draw a comparision to, the more information you feed the better it can match those parameters
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CON: Static parameters can't take into account what you consider pretty, hadsome or beautiful. It doesn't register a smile or body type you're confortable with.
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